Treatment of Women

To look at women as a burden, leads to poverty.  Poverty of mind.  Poverty of spirit.

Check out this great video on the meaning of Valentines Day in Islamabad by Maheen Usmani.

Trauma can be anything that penetrates our psyche.  It is defined as a stressful occurrence that would cause stress to anyone; such as serious threat to one’s life or physical integrity; serious threat or harm to one’s children, spouse, or other close relatives or friends; sudden destruction of one’s home or community; seeing another person who is seriously injured or killed as the result of an accident or physical violence, and illnesses and surgeries that affect the body.

Experiencing trauma can be the result of a single overwhelming event to the more complicated effects of prolonged and repeated abuse, such as emotional, physical, verbal, and/or sexual abuse.

The healing of trauma depends upon the recognition of its symptoms, yet the ordinary response to pain and trauma is to banish them from consciousness- to forget about it.  Pain and trauma, however refuses to be forgotten and can not be denied as the trauma often resurfaces in other ways in our life.  Either through violent outbursts, addictions, feeling numb and disconnected, and/or self destructive behaviors.

It is difficult to comprehend how many people are affected by trauma.  In a recent study of more than one thousand men and women, it was found that forty percent had gone through a traumatic event in the past three years.  And many people have traumatic symptoms that go unrecognized.  For example, ten to fifteen percent of all adults suffer from panic attacks, unexplained anxiety or phobias.

Today, most people are aware of the fact that sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, as well as exposure to violence or danger, can profoundly alter a person’s life.  What most people don’t know is that many seemingly benign situations can be traumatic.

Not knowing we are traumatized doesn’t prevent us from having problems that are caused by it.  Depression, anxiety, rage, and mental illness are often rooted in traumatic experiences.

It is important to understand our past in order to reclaim our present and future.  If you feel that you have experienced trauma in your life, it is important to seek professional help.

To find therapists in your local area that specialize in the healing of trauma, visit the following websites for more information:

• www.traumahealing.com
• www.emdr.com
• www.thoughtfield.com

Burqa and Stilettos is a community for modern Muslim and South Asian women (and all our friends, regardless of race, religion, or sex) to connect, share, and inspire by bringing to light issues and challenges that many of us face.

Issues such as:

• Abuse in all the different forms it manifests

• Sexuality

• Dating/marrying outside one’s race and religion & forced marriages

• Disownment & honor killings

• Being ostracized by being too religious or not religious enough

We hope to make this a community where women of all faiths and cultures can connect to share their stories and offer each other support. As women, regardless of race, culture, or religion we face the same universal issues.

This is not about a religion. It’s about lifting the invisible veil and revealing our reality. It’s about finding our collective and individual voice and empowering ourselves.

So, my fellow burqa and stilettos sisters, lets start talking.

All views invited.

Democracy in Afghanistan is about HOPE.

Hope for peace. Hope for equal rights for women. Hope for healing.

An Interview of the Afghan people.

I haven’t seen Four Lions yet, and and will try to get my hands on it asap, but the trailer is amusing and interesting. Four Lions by British comedian, Chris Morris, tells the story of a group of jihadists who pursue their dreams of glory. As the wheels fly off, and their competing ideologies clash, what emerges is an emotionally engaging farce.

Four Lions is based on three years of researching surveillance materials from major trials, and meetings with everyone from imams to ex-mujahedeen. Four Lions goes beyond seeing these young men as alien or evil, instead, it portrays them as human beings.

Some people may not find it funny. The best defense is a better offense and nothing is better than humor, if it’s done well. Frankly, the heated debates, the blame games, and the angry tirades are not working, but only making people and attitudes more polarized. Why not try something new to show the absurdity of it all?

If anyone has seen this, I’d love to hear your opinions.

Life is a gift. Live everyday as a thank you note.

My morning commute today was insane.  I waited for three trains in Jersey before I got on the fourth, crowded, packed like sardines, train car.  I could feel someone taller than me breathing down my neck.  In front of met stood an older man with morning breath, mixed in with coffee breath.  I worked hard not to gag or become annoyed and irritated.  Then from Eckhart Tolle and my ipod, came the gift I needed for the day.  Life is a gift. Live everyday as a thank you note.   I Love that.

Save The Date –

In June, York University in Toronto will host a conference on the veil, called Veiled Constellations

They have a slew of great speakers and have put out a call for papers and speakers

If interested, visit the site to view guidelines.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” — Dr. Seuss

A belief is a thought you have over and over again.  How are your thoughts limiting or advancing you in your life?